Vienna supports women | Frauen beraten Frauen

It was close to two years ago, just around Christmas time, when I had an appointment at AMS (The Public Employment Service for Vienna) and my counsellor there suggested I reach out to Frauen beraten Frauen. I did not know what that was and I did not know what was expected of me, so I let the information sit in my folder for months. In March the following year I felt the absolutely urgent need to write down all my concerns in the longest letter, translate it into German and send it to whomever it may concern. It was a pure outburst of paragraphs about every problem area in my life: from struggling finding a job to my unstable emotional state at that moment. I did not know it then, but that turned out to be one of the best decisions I have made, since moving to Austria.

Women Advice Women

Or more like - help. In many forms and with a lot of patience and kindness. But let me tell you the story:

I sent my letter and even that little step was so validating and brought so much relief, that I did not even anticipate an answer. Where I come from, such service does not exist - the idea of free consultation service, where you can, as a woman, reach out and share whatever concerns you, then get free advice and support from an appointed counsellor, also a woman, is foreign in my home country. My Balkan scepticism made me think that it would be a waste of time; my insecurities made me believe that whoever read my letter, would laugh at me. The reality of what followed was so unexpected at the beginning and so important to me afterwards, that I really needed to share this experience, in order to encourage everyone to follow the example. Because, as strong as we are, as capable as we are, as women, we all have limits and we all can benefit from support of any kind. Especially women who are foreigners and are navigating not only their personal life, but an integration into another country for themselves and their families.

There came the answer - friendly, welcoming, understanding, curious, encouraging. I was indeed very pleasantly surprised and that's how I met Johanna - the person who has been a constant support throughout the most turbulent years of my life (for which I am very grateful). First, she was just a name on the screen, next to the title of the letter. Then she became a confidant, an advisor, a person with insights and ideas; someone willing to help adequately and someone who whould validate my feelings and concerns, not in the shallow way we perceive validation nowadays, but in a balanced and constructive manner that made me feel seen, but not agreed with for the sake of it. It was real help, delivered in a real and meaningful way. I could give a lot of examples of the suggestions she has given me in the past year and eight months, since that first letter arrived in her mailbox - from ideas about my career path to helping me gain more independence as a permanent resident in the country. Her biggest contribution to my life, in my eyes, is and always will be her just being there for me and my absurdly long messages (4 pages in Word on avarage...); having the eyes and the heart to read what was weighing on me and always find a suggestion on how to move forward. I have often asked myself if I am overstepping a boundary, if I am turning towards her with too much information, if I am turning her into a therapist, for I clearly need one, yet she would always be there to guide me and also gather me together, if I have splashed myself in too many directions. I cannot thank her enough!

Apart from sending a letter and having online or in-person consultations, women can also attend any of the free events of Frauen beraten Frauen. Recently, I attended one and it opened my eyes to how common many of our situatuons are. I was sitting in a virtual room with other women and they all shared many of the concerns I have had throughout the years. I stayed silent, but I saw myself in many of them - in different stages of fear I have experienced in the past almost four years. I wanted to reach out through the screen and say how "this too shall pass". And while I was just passively listening, the moderators were so patient and understanding with everyone - it was such a calm and positive space for the participants and I find this important to share.

I have recommended Frauen beraten Frauen to many friends of mine, because I believe this is one of the best services, offered in Vienna. I am only sorry I never knew it existed when I first moved here five years ago. The online consultations have helped me organise my thoughts; think about my next steps; express my emotions and fears freely; get familiar with solutions I would not have known about otherwise; have ideas given by someone, who supports me; gain confidence navigating life in Vienna and life in general. Also, for everyone who is struggling with German, it's completely fine to write in English, so no worries!

Frauen beraten Frauen is a safe place for women, where we not only feel seen and understood, but can also benefit from useful information and gentle guideness in areas we are unfamiliar with. I genuinely want to reccomend turning to the counsellors, no matter what problems or issues you need help with. The truth is, surviving certain periods in life is possible, even when you have no one by your side, but it is so much easier and so much gentler on our emotional well-being, when we admit that we need help and finally accept it.

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